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Better Off Dad

I am a stay at home dad. That’s pretty much all I am. I used to be other things before I started staying home with my kids. But now I’m just a stay at home dad, or SAHD for short. I know that’s what I am because that’s how people introduce me. “This is Marcus, he stays home with the kids (can you believe it?)” Or if they’re over the age of 55, I usually get the “He’s a Mr. Mom.” It’s said in a positive way, sort of like the way people say “between jobs” when they mean “fired for being an incompetent loser.”

That’s it Kids! Don’t Make Me Drive to Nebraska!

 Child abandonment laws have been around for some time.  They were initially created so that mothers of a newborn could leave their child at a hospital without facing any legal punishment.  The hope was that this would give a safe option to teens who might be panicking over an unwanted baby.

Last month Nebraska became the last state in the nation to develop such a law.  There’s just one catch.  In all the other states, the law has been narrowly defined to apply only to newborns.  Nebraska decided to extend their law to cover any minors.  This means that you can drop your 2 year old, 12 year old, or 19 year old off at any local hospital in Nebraska and drive away, scott free.

 

Obviously, there has been some criticism of this law.  Many analysts and child activists suggest that it is one thing to give new mothers who may act in a desperate manner, a safe way out of a difficult situation, it is another thing entirely to allow parents who have become frustrated or tired of their responsibilities the right to pull up the minivan and dump the soccer team out into the emergency room.

But these critics seem to be missing the point.  Nebraskans aren’t stupid.  They didn’t accidentally write the law to include surly 15 year olds.   They were the last state in the country to adopt this law.  They had 49 other states to cut and paste from.  No, they did this on purpose, and the reason may surprise you.

Tourism.

That’s right, the corn husker state has struggled in recent years to draw tourists to their flat and boring state.  Overshadowed by flashy South Dakota to the North and dapper Iowa to the East, plain Jane Nebraska has suffered for years from large swaths of emptiness and, lets be honest, not much to do.  Sure they have attractions like carhenge, but how far are you really going to drive to see such a thing?

So a meeting was instituted.  They talked about what could be done to draw people to the area lovingly known as East Wyoming.  They talked about trying to open up Six Flags over Omaha, but realized that there had only been one flag over Nebraska and only since 1963 for that matter.  Then they talked about turning Grand Island, NE into a boating resort, but then realized that Grand Island was actually land locked.  And then they stumbled on the idea that could save their state.  What is the one thing that makes driving to Nebraska so miserable? (aside from Kansas) - The kids squabbling in the backseat.  Then Sen Tom White of Omaha, humbly raised their hand and said:

“What if we could ensure that no child would ever act up while in the state of Nebraska?”

Silence filled the room as everyone took this possibility in.  The perfect vacation spot.  The place where children would always behave.  Who wouldn’t drive 2,000 miles to come there?

Sen. White then laid out his plan for an abandonment law that would include infants through teenagers.  Thus allowing parents to hold over their child’s head, this terrifying statement:

“I swear to Pete!  If you don’t stop hitting your sister we’re leaving the fish hatchery and I’m dropping you off at the hospital for good!  Do you want to grow up in Nebraska?  Do you?  Do you?!?”

There were general nods of consent around the room.  “But what will we do with all these surly teens and naughty kids being dropped off at Nebraska Methodist Hospital Center?”

Hmmm, this could prove to be a problem.  But then a voice called out.

“I could always use some help on the farm.”

And so it was decided, Nebraska would institute its child abandonment/tourism law and any abandoned kids would go work on Dicky Freeman’s ranch. 

So far, the results have been spectacular.  Car after car of silent children has wheeled through downtown Omaha, the fearful eyes of stock still youngsters peering out at what could be their future. 

Since the law was instituted only three children have been abandoned.  One for hitting his sister one more time and making his father, despite several warnings, pull his car over.  The other two were involved in a border dispute over the line in the backseat that they were not allowed to cross.  After several hours of negotiation and cross border attacks, the only solution was to give each child 1,000 acres to farm and let them go at it.

“We’ve been very pleased with the response,” said Senator White from his grounded yacht in Grand Island.  “Tourism is up 23%, discipline reports in school are down 42% and mail order sales of Nebraska post cards are apparently up 278%, because parents are using them as visual threats.  We couldn’t be happier.”

All of this has even led to the adopting of a new License plate slogan:

Comments

 

Deborah Anne Hovey, Licensed Clinical Social Worker said:

Brilliant!  Whenever I've had it with my six-year old son, I say exactly this; "don't make me drive to Nebraska!"  and the puzzled, (not scared) look on his face makes me crack up laughing.  He's pretty much free to keep up the shananigans, because I'm laughing so hard to myself about this oh-so-private joke, I don't notice him kicking my seat anymore!  A huge thanks, and I will be a loyal subscriber!

September 3, 2008 1:13 PM [Delete]
 

wow said:

asshole, do you even understand the actual benefits of the plan?

just because abortions are available, you don't see every pregnant woman pointing to her belly and saying "hey no more kicking, you want me to take you to the clinic?"

people won't lose their morals because of the bill, not everyone is going to "get rid of" their child.

September 11, 2008 9:43 PM [Delete]
 

superdad said:

Here's a follow up to this story.  The first two kids abandoned under this law were both Teenagers.   - Better off Dad

Unruly juveniles given up under 'safe haven' law BY MARTHA STODDARD WORLD-HERALD BUREAU

LINCOLN - Nebraska lawmakers didn't expect that the first children dropped off at hospitals under the state's new "safe haven" law would be a teenager and a preteen.

The law was intended to save newborns.

People who work with children and families say they were not surprised, though, and called the dropoffs a "wakeup call."

The 2-month-old law was used twice Saturday, both times by people leaving misbehaving adolescents with whom they could no longer cope.

An 11-year-old boy was dropped off Saturday afternoon at Immanuel Medical Center in Omaha. A few hours later, a 15-year-old boy was left at BryanLGH Medical Center West in Lincoln.

Both boys are now in the custody of the State Department of Health and Human Services.

"This is what we feared," said Kathy Bigsby Moore, executive director for Voices for Children of Nebraska. "It appears this law has now created a new front door to the child welfare system."

Karen Authier, executive director of the Nebraska Children's Home society adoption agency, said the cases should be a "wakeup call" to alert communities to the need for more resources to help struggling families.

State Sen. Brad Ashford of Omaha, the chairman of the Judiciary Committee, said he had not anticipated that many older children would be dropped off when he agreed to remove the age limit in the original safe haven proposal.

Upon reflection, however, he said the law's first use is an indicator that Nebraska needs better ways to deal with young people with behavioral problems. Other indicators, he said, include the level of gun violence in Omaha and teen suicides.

"It's an alarm bell, clearly another alarm signal," Ashford said. "I'm very concerned about how pervasive these issues are."

Todd Landry, children and family services director in HHS, said the safe haven law was intended to protect children from immediate danger, including death. There was no indication either boy was in danger or suffering abuse or neglect, he said.

"Certainly it's my opinion that these situations were not the intent of the Legislature when they passed (the safe haven law)," he said.

Under the law, people cannot be prosecuted for leaving a child with a hospital employee on duty. They can be charged, however, if abuse or neglect is suspected, and they could be subject to losing their parental rights.

The age limit in the original safe haven bill was dropped as part of a compromise to get the bill passed. Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha, a longtime opponent of safe haven laws, said he wanted the law to benefit older children.

Nebraska was the last of the states to enact a safe haven law.

The maximum age under safe haven laws in other states is 1 year old, and most limit dropoffs to within 72 hours to one month after birth.

According to Landry:

The 11-year-old boy was left at Immanuel by his adoptive mother, who said the boy had some behavioral problems. He had moved here from out of state and had been adopted by relatives. Landry said that HHS had helped the original state with the adoption but that the case is no longer active.

The 15-year-old was dropped at BryanLGH off by his aunt, who became the child's legal guardian after the boy's mother died. Landry said HHS had helped facilitate the guardianship but did not have an active case. The aunt said that the boy had behavioral problems and that a counselor had suggested that she take him to the hospital under the safe haven law.

Landry said the department has the identities of the families involved. It will be up to child welfare workers and the judicial system to determine whether the boys should be reunited with their families. ,

• Contact the writer: 402-473-9583, martha.stoddard@owh.com

October 5, 2008 5:17 AM [Delete]
 

superdad said:

And it gets worse.  The total is up to 17 teen abandoned in Nebraska. I'm not one to  suggest that "Wow" up there is wrong, but he is so so wrong.

www.cnn.com/.../index.html

October 8, 2008 12:46 PM [Delete]
 

superdad said:

Here's the final update.  Nebraska saw the light and has restricted legal abandonments to infants 3 days old or younger.

www.msnbc.msn.com/.../27282433

October 20, 2008 2:50 PM [Delete]

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