If I were to ask one of my friends to describe my mom, they might say, “classy, kind, smart, or friendly.”  But I’m not sure “comedian” would be in the top 10 adjectives. 

Now, don’t get me wrong.  She can be funny and she loves to laugh, but she’s not usually the one at the dinner table hurling out the zingers.  But every once in a while she lets something out that cracks me up.  Here are a couple of my favorites:

I don’t know if you remember the movie “Indecent Proposal.”  It was about a young couple (Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore) who got approached by a rich gentleman (Robert Redford) who offered them a million dollars to sleep with Demi Moore.

Well, this was quite a discussion starter down in conservative Tennessee where we lived at the time, with lots of people debating the theoretical moral issues about would they or wouldn’t they.  My mom simply said the following:

“I don’t understand this movie!  You mean you get to sleep with Robert Redford AND you get a million dollars?  What’s the question?”

Of course, she was joking….. I think.

Then last fall, in the midst of the Democratic primary, I was surprised to hear that she wasn’t an ardent Hillary supporter.  She explained that she loved Hillary and would love for her to be president, but that she didn’t think that she could win.  She also added:

“And the last thing we need is for Bill to be in the White House with nothing to do!”

She has always been someone who takes politics personally, and it has been a great joy of mine to talk politics with her, especially in such an interesting year.  So, it wasn’t too surprising when I got the following email from her yesterday:

Hi,
I’ve been hearing that Sarah Palin didn’t do well on TV with Katie Couric but had not heard or read specifics until tonight.  I was reading the commentary on p. 33 of the current Newsweek  entitled Palin Is Ready?  Please.

As I was reading the q&a between Katie Couric and Sarah Palin, it suddenly occurred to me Sarah Palin’s answers were a lot like the blog you wrote about Audra playing with her dolls about running for President and talking stream of consciously.  I think maybe Audra might be closer to being ready to be President than we thought.  Too bad she’s only 6!

Love, Mom

I don’t know.  What do you think?  First one of Audra’s stream of consciousness ramblings:

“This is like a game for choosing the leader.  We decide the leader and we decide Barack Obama.  He’s got spirit.  He’s got spirit for the holy nation.  We must all live in our holy nation so redemption can pour out.  Our last name is Barbie.  Can you say that?  Barbie.  Good.  Now the sign might say an important thing.  Ladies and gentleman you obey that thing.  You will be republicans.  You don’t want to be republicans.  You want to be Christians because Christians is the name of the holy God.  When a republican girl jumps on your neck then your hopping, hopping, hopping and you laugh and you stretch your body wide. The shoe fell off again.  What should I do?  It’s time to vote.  We all need to put our votes for who we want to be leader.  Who should be the greatest?  Democrats or Republicans?  They lose.  The presidents are running for the state.  Everyone must obey this sign.  This girl is holding the sign.  She looks like a doctor, but they don’t care.  I look cute.  The wonderings.  The wonderings it is.  This is the president.  This is the sister.  She just joined the family and they are all voting to be president today.  I am the first lady.  From Tottington Hall. Mrs. Tottington is my name.  Everyone obey me.   I am here to speak to you tonight for all of the presidential candidals.  I’m here to talk about the candidals but I don’t know what they mean.  Do you?  Does anyone know?  Yes.   Good!  Individual.  Individual under God.  Yes! ”

And Now, some recent comments (taken veratim) from Sarah Palin during her Katie Couric interview when asked to explain how her proximity to Russia gave her international experience:

"We have trade missions back and forth.  We, we do, it's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America, where, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to, to our state."

And here is how she responded to what she thought about the economic bailout plan:

“That's why I say I, like every American I'm speaking with, we're ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy. Um, helping, oh -- it's got to be all about job creation too. Shoring up our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So healthcare reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade, we've got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, um, scary thing, but 1 in 5 jobs being created in the trade sector today. We've got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that."

I don’t know, I’d say that my 6 year old does as about as good a job inserting nonsensical catch phrases into her comments as Palin does. 

That’s why I think my Mom is a genius, and why I’m voting McCain – Audra in November.

And why I approve this message.