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Better Off Dad

I am a stay at home dad. That’s pretty much all I am. I used to be other things before I started staying home with my kids. But now I’m just a stay at home dad, or SAHD for short. I know that’s what I am because that’s how people introduce me. “This is Marcus, he stays home with the kids (can you believe it?)” Or if they’re over the age of 55, I usually get the “He’s a Mr. Mom.” It’s said in a positive way, sort of like the way people say “between jobs” when they mean “fired for being an incompetent loser.”

March 2009 - Posts

  • Anchors Away!

     
    Deep in the heart of Illinois, somewhere in a small country town named Chicago, there lived two humble news anchors. 

    These anchors spent their evenings sitting in rolling chairs and reading short paragraphs off of a teleprompter. 

    They thought they had it all - the glamour, the respect of their peers, the ability to cut to the front of the line at the Olive Garden.  It truly seemed like the world was their oyster, but something was missing.

    For 30 minutes a night, they were the King and Queen of the airwaves.  A city turned to them to find out what buildings had caught on fire, which murders had occurred and what amusing things had happened to someone’s pet.  They delivered the pain, and joy of the day to millions and, for those 30 minutes, they were the most important people in the world to your average Chicagoan over the age of 60.

    But it wasn’t enough, because in the midst of that 30 minutes of pure heaven, were moments that were not so heavenly at all.  And we called those moments: commercials.

    Now, our heroes knew that these commercials paid their salaries and allowed them to get a 20% discount at Bob’s Mattress City Discounters Warehouse, but they also created holes in their lives:  2 minute holes where they had to sit at their little desk and just wait.

    It wasn’t enough time to go get a cup of coffee, or check their email.  It wasn’t really enough time to get up and do anything at all.  So they just sat there, staring at the fake stack of papers they had in their hand and thinking about that moment, 20 minutes from now, when they could finally go back out into their adoring public and embrace their mild local fame.

    But still, this empty time gnawed at them.  It just seemed so wasteful, so hollow.  What could they possibly do to change that time from a yawning chasm of nothingness to a brief two minutes of joy that would one day change the world?

    And so, after much thought, and much practice, they came up with this:

     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7ehlw_phys

    That’s right, these two venerable reporters from WGN in Chicago, developed a two minute dance / handshake routine complete with little singing noises and the occasional use of props.

    And I have got to say…. I love it.

    I love that these two different people could come together and combine the slap handshakes of the street with the razz-ma-tazz of broadway.

    This truly is Obama’s New America.

    I love that their routine has been designed to fill the full two-plus minutes of their commercial break.

    I love that it clearly took them months if not years to come up with and memorize this routine.

    I love that it is, at times, silly, hip and ridiculous.

    And, finally, I love that nobody in the studio seems the least bit impressed by this, save the one guy in the back who claps tepidly.

    I, however, take my hat off to these two.  And I mean this in all seriousness.  The world is a wacky, often depressing place, and sometimes it’s just nice to see a couple of people enjoying themselves, especially when their entire job is to say things like.

    “Three children died today when a car crashed into a schoolbus outside of Evanston.”

    I don’t know.  I know it’s just silly - a bit of youtube piffle designed to make you waste two minutes of your time at work, but there was something in the sheer joyousness and absurdity of it that I found very heartening.

    So here’s to you Robert Jordan and Jackie Bange of WGN news.  Thank you for making the world a little brighter in the midst of all you do to make it seem a little darker.

    This slap, shake, wiggle wiggle, point, bump, hop, turn, grab grab, tilt, jump, elbow elbow, touch, twist, roll roll, tap, smack, clap is for you.

  • My Weekend, in Three Brief Vignettes

     

    Washington Post Full of Lies

    Conservatives have long complained that the venerable Washington Post is merely a collection of lies.

    They are correct.

    On Saturday we decided to take the kids down to the Kite Festival on the National Mall.  For those of you who haven’t been, this is a wonderful event with hundreds of kites being flown over the mall by kids, massive 10 foot wide kites being flown by professionals (professional kite fliers?), kite fighting competitions etc. etc.

    We’ve been before and had a great time.  This year, however, we had a few things working against us.

    To begin with, it was cold and rainy.  Unlike the clear blue sky and sunshine that you would wish for with a kite festival, this year’s festival was held during 50 degree weather and a light drizzle.  Not exactly the ideal weather for walking around and staring up into the skies. 

    The second thing we had working against us was that the Washington Post is full of lies. 

    The Post ran a story on the kite festival, complete with a picture and information on attending.  It said that the festival would take place between 4th and 7th streets.  So we drove downtown and found parking a few blocks south of 4th street.  Hot dog!  However, what the post meant to write when they had their semi-literate Harvard grads typing up the story was that the festival would take place between 14th and 17th streets.

    For those of you who are wondering how much of a difference there is between 4th street and 14th street, the answer is about a mile and a half.

    In the rain.

    It could have been worse, I suppose.  After our 45 minute walk pushing our stroller, carrying our 30 pound diaper bag and hauling Micah in a backpack, we did arrive at the kite festival only to run into one of Sarah’s co-workers.  Sarah’s office is on 17th street.  So they had decided to just park there.  Then (having, like I, read and trusted the Post) they walked down to 7th street before realizing that the festival was back a couple blocks south of where they started.

    So what this ended up meaning was that Sarah and I walked 45 minutes to the festival and then I enjoyed the festival for 10 minutes and then started walking the 45 minutes back so that I could get the car, since we had to be somewhere soon and had only planned on spending two hours at the festival.

    Oh well, the kids made some kind of a kite thingy out of an old pepsi bottle.  I guess that’s worth something.


    Drunk People are So Crazy

    I’ve never been around many drunk people.  I’ve cleaned up vomit for a few friends along the way and I’ve been to an Applebees at 10pm during a Nascar race, but in general I have not been exposed to crazy drunk people all that much.

    Well, last night we went to an Eddie from Ohio concert (one of my favorite bands www.efohio.com ) at a place that served alcohol and apparently made few attempts to stop people from drinking too much of said alcohol.

    The lady sitting directly in front of us took to sitting with her feet on the stage and trying to talk to the band throughout the show.  I think her inebriation developed a false sense of intimacy from being so close.

    She was also clearly crazy.

    But not as crazy as the guy who kept standing up at random times throughout the show and shouting things such as the names of various places the band had played:

    “Bad Habits!”

    Or things that were clearly not true, such as

    “Hey, I am, like, your oldest fan!”

    When he was clearly in his late 20s and one of the youngest people there and, then he went on some kind of rambling diatribe about, I’m not sure what, which ended with him holding his arms up over his head, Evita style, and shouting:

    “Beans.”

    This, children, is why you shouldn’t drink.

    About half way though the show, he disappeared altogether, leaving no trace behind him, except, perhaps, the pool of vomit on the sidewalk.

    And keep in mind, this all happened at a folk music concert.

    Folk Music for crying out loud!

     

    Where Pastor’s, Pop Culture and Popcorn Intersect

    I am part of a small bible study type group at our local church.  Well, one night it was suggested (by our associate pastor, mind you) that all of the guys in our group go to the movies to see “The Watchmen.” 

    Well, let me tell you.  The Watchmen is a weird little movie.  It is at times fascinating, bizarre, overwhelming, juvenile, creative, deeply metaphoric, excessively violent, compelling and a little bit silly.

    Plus there’s nudity, including a solid blue naked computerized man who is anatomically correct.

    Very, very anatomically correct. 

    Imagine an extremely well chiseled smurf, but without the little white tights.

    Anyway, the movie was odd, but interesting.

    Afterward, however, several of the members of our little posse seemed shell shocked from prolonged exposure to full frontal, animated, periwinkle colored, male nudity.   That and the scene where they guy takes a cleaver to the head… repeatedly.

    Anywho….

    After, the movie, we’re all standing around outside the theater chatting.  One guy points out that he found it extremely uncomfortable to be watching a sex scene while sitting between two ordained pastors.

    One of the pastors then said he felt extremely uncomfortable sitting next to an 8 year old who had apparently been brought in by his parents thinking that this was like Spiderman.

    It was NOT like spiderman.

    This, of course, led to a brief discussion of everyone talking about the first time they saw a movie with nudity in it.  One of the guys said his first time was when the father of his high school girlfriend (who happened to be a pastor) took he and his girlfriend to see Fatal Attraction at the movie theater.  Our poor friend, saw a naked woman for the first time, sitting between his girlfriend and her dad.

    Plus, the naked woman was Glenn Close.  Just difficult all around.

    Another guy related, with some fondness, having seen Revenge of the Nerds as a teenager.  And then our pastor recalled watching Blade Runner with his parents.

    “You know that scene where, they’re in the shower and the snake comes out and….”

    We all shook our heads, “no.”

    But apparently seeing that for the first time with your parents will stick with you a little more.

    It was around this time I noticed, that Aloysius and Jessie who had come to the movie with us were slowly edging away from us, as the conversation seemed to make them more and more uncomfortable.

    As we left the theater, we stopped to talk to the ticket taker who is also a member of the church.  He joked with us about the movie and it’s somewhat inappropriate contents.  As we were walking away, he called out to us, laughing:

    “Hey!  I expect to see you all going down to the altar next Sunday!”

     

    And that, friends, was my weekend.

  • License to Thrill!

     
    Ever since I was a kid, I’ve had an affinity for license plates.  We traveled a lot as a family (I believe our family motto was “if there’s not a giant ocean in the way, you might as well drive) and I remember countless hours staring out the car window watching cars pass by.  I loved looking at the license plates and spotting the exotic ones that had come from beyond a state or two away.

    Each license plate was a snap shot of the state it came from.  A brief, miniature advertisement for the home of the driver.  And by looking at those license plates, you felt as if you could maybe learn something about the person driving.

    For instance, you might learn that people from Texas only have one lone star in their sky, or that people from New Jersey live in a beatific wonderland where the entire state is practically one huge garden.

    I didn’t say that these license plates gave terribly accurate impressions of the places they represented, but they did give you a single image (also know as a stereotype) to represent that state.  For instance, when you saw the pictures of farms and wheat represented on the Kansas and Iowa license plates, you knew that the states were basically just one giant farm and that if you didn’t want to go spend a vacation watching wheat wave, then perhaps you should go somewhere else.

    Likewise, it was always neat to see a license plate from far away.  I remember always being amazed how a VW van full of aging hippies could travel all the way from Washington state without breaking down.  Likewise, it was always cool to see an Alaska plate and think about how far they must have traveled, or to see a Hawaiian plate and wonder how the hell they got here and why it seemed worth it to bring their Chevy Chevette all the way across the ocean.

    So, in honor of all that is good and all that is bad in the world of license plates, I believe it is time for a round of license plate superlatives.  That’s right, the super fun game where I sit around and choose the best the worst, the lamest and the most disingenuous plates and you sit around and chuckle mildly while pretending to do work.

    So without further ado (adieu? To do?....) without prattling on any more, lets get started.

    Best Classic Plate – Tie for Colorado and Vermont
    There are a number of states that just have old boring plates with nothing on them (think Connecticut) and in some ways these two states fall into that category.  But there is something about the simple old school green of these states that makes you think.  “You know, it’s not that these are stubborn boring, uncreative states who can’t come up with a new license, these are cool, hip states who have stuck with their old classic style that says. ‘Hey!  We’re kind of eco-friendly and encourage people with alternative lifestyles to wear socks with their sandals, use organic deodorant and drive old dented pick up trucks with a rainbow sticker and our classic green license plate on them.”

    Most Accurate Yet Lame Plate – Idaho
    So, Idaho’s license plate, as everyone knows, has said “Famous Potatoes” on it since the first citizen bought a car there in the late 70s.  Now, it would be hard to think of anything else that Idaho is known for outside of potatoes…. (republicans?) but still.  Is that what you really want to be known for?  Potatoes?  Do you think anyone in the history of the world has ever planned a trip somewhere because of potatoes?  (“You know, honey, I just really want to see where these French fry things start off!”)  Do you really think that some big executive is going to try to decide where to put his next auto plant and say, “well, I have always like potatoes, and the ones in Idaho do seem to be famous.”  This would be like California deciding to have their entire state advertising slogan center around the California raisins.  They’re cute and all, but I’m not driving out there to see them.  I don’t care how well they sing.

    Prettiest – Oregon
    Oregon has, for years, had the prettiest license plate.  It is a simple design with mountains in the background and a single pine tree in the middle.  Maybe I’m a sucker, but I’ve always seen that license plate and thought, “wow, Oregon seems really beautiful, I should go there sometime.”  That is exactly what you want a license plate to do.  It is simple and elegant and makes the state look appealing. 

    Stupidest – Pennsylvania
    There are a lot of stupid plates out there.  There are a lot that are just simply forgettable (Michigan, Missouri, Massachusetts… pretty much anything that starts with M) but I’m going to have to go with Pennsylvania because it combines a boring plate (blue stripe / yellow stripe) with the absolutely asinine tagline:  www.state.pa.us    Really?  You couldn’t even be bothered to buy Pennsylvania.com?  This seems particularly sad because Pennsylvania, unlike some states (see Idaho) has so much to offer.  The liberty bell!  The Declaration of Independence!  Punxsatawney Phil!  The Amish!   Scranton!  Why settle for a web address?  Do you really think there’s anyone in America who couldn’t find Pennsylvania with a web search, but does have the ability to remember www.state.pa.us?

    Most Confusing – Arkansas 
    Atkansas’ tagline is “the natural state.”  What does that mean?  No, really.  What the heck does that mean?  I’ve been there.  I mean, there’s a lot of dirt and rocks and stuff and that’s pretty natural I guess, but really…… what does that mean?  Is it a nudism thing?

    Most Disingenuous -  Maine 
    Now, the real winner here is clearly New Jersey (garden state my fanny) but we’ve already made fun of them, and besides, Jersey is sort of low hanging fruit.  Mississippi is also in the running.  Their license plate has a picture of a lighthouse, which strikes me as a little odd, considering it’s a massive state which is home to the blues, and cotton and literary giants, but only one lighthouse - Liars.  But back to Maine.  Maine, you might ask?  Well, let me explain.  Apparently Maine has had the word “Vacationland” on the bottom of their plates since the beginning of time.  Vacationland?  I mean, I’ve heard it’s nice, but vacationland?  Really?  How about “we got lobsters” or “cold, but pretty nice in the summer” or “Really cool accents.” Or “We Promise Stephen King Doesn’t Bite.”  But vacationland?  I don’t buy it

    Saddest – Delaware
    Poor Delaware.  I know they don’t have much going for them.  They’re small, they smell bad, their best city is Wilmington and they’re only known for being some kind of weird tax haven, but come on.  Their slogan is “the first state.”  That’s essentially like having a license plate that says “Nothing Interesting has Happened to Us in Hundreds of Years.”  Just sad.

    Scariest – Tie for Louisiana and New Hampshire
    New Hampshire was a shoo in here.  You can’t have a license plate that says “Live free or die” without giving people the heebie jeebies.  What does that even mean?  Live free.  Or DIE!  Very, very disturbing.  Louisiana’s is also disturbing, but in a more subtle way.  Their license plate has a picture of a pelican and says, “Sportsmans Paradise” which is essentially like saying, “Come here to shoot things…… Like maybe a Pelican.”

    Makes You Go, Huh? – North Dakota
    North Dakota’s license plate says “Peace Garden State.”  I have absolutely no idea what that means.

    First to Worst – Kentucky
    And finally, we’ve got to end with my favorite whipping boy, Kensucky.  This state has a just flat out bizarre history of license plates.  I don’t know if it’s the chicken addiction or what, but they are just all over the place.  For a long time their plate just said, “the bluegrass state,” which was kind of nice, but also made people think of deliverance.  Then they had my all time favorite license plate.  It was a lovely scene of hills and then over them was a large cloud in the shape of Kentucky.  I know, it sounds, cheesy, but it was actually very nice.  Then they completely lost their mind, dropped a significant amount of acid and made a license plate that had this giant smiling sun on it (something straight out of Roger Rabbit) with the tagline “It’s that friendly!”  Now, what the hell does that mean?  That Kentucky is as friendly as an anthropomorphic star?  It made no sense.  And seemed kind of queer.  Not surprisingly, that didn’t last very long, and now they just have a really lame license plate with the outline of a horse with the state’s new “brand” slogan “Unbridled Spirit.”  Eh.  Whatever.  I’ve heard worse slogans (“The Granite State!” – New Hampshire.   “Greatest Snow on Earth!” – Utah.  “America’s Dairyland” – Wisconsin)  But it’s still pretty lame.  Doesn’t exactly make me want to vacation in Louisville or build an auto plant there.  But let’s be honest, not much would.

    So there you go!  The best, the worst, the most peculiar.  If you want to see any of these licenses for yourself, check out

    www.worldlicenseplates.com/

    And keep your eye peeled for whatever wacky thing a state decides to do next to make themselves relevant.  My money is on Ohio, they can’t cling to that “birthplace of aviation” thing forever. 

  • A Couple of Wild and Crazy Guys

     
    As I’ve probably mentioned before, I organize playdates for a group of Stay at Home Dads in Maryland.  We get together at a park or someone’s house and drink coffee while the kids run around and climb on things.  It’s about as casual an enterprise as one could imagine. 

    We stand in small groups, drawing stares and the occasional (generally positive comment) from the moms and grandparents around us.  We sip our coffee, we tell stories about what our kids did over the weekend and we trade tips on home improvement projects. 

    We’re just a set of matching t-shirts away from forming a glee club.

    It’s fairly tepid.  But boy, if you let this group loose without kids:  Watch out!

    Last night we had one of our quarterly Dad’s Night Out events.  This entails us entrusting our children to the care of our wives, putting on shirts without spit up on them and going out and doing something manly…. like bowling!

    Last night we met at a brewery and ordered manly things like Beer and diet coke.  And then we set off to the bowling alley to show those young childless whippersnappers how a real a man throws a ball at a bunch of bottle shaped things.

    So that was our night.  7 dads out without their kids.  Care free and fancy loose!

    Here are some of my observations and lessons from an evening of reserved debauchery:

    • We went to a brewery / restaurant that had half priced appetizers during March Madness games.  Very cool, right?  Very manly!  The problem is that since none of us follow the B-ball all that much, we didn’t realize that there weren’t actually any games Wed night, so we had to pay full price for our mini Kobe beef sliders, southwest egg rolls and hummus with toast points.  FULL PRICE!

    • Even when out for a night of manly activities, we still can’t help passing around our cell phones and showing off pictures of our kids.

    • Some of us also text our wives a lot.  (Or somebody.  I’m assuming it was a wife)

    • If there was a time when these guys would order pitcher after pitcher of cheap beer until everyone was stupid and boisterous, that time has long passed.  Now we sit around and discuss the relative “hoppiness” of the beer and whether it has a smooth finish or a nutty aroma.

    • It turns out that whatever bowling skill we have is very tentative.  Scores ranged from 63- 172… often with the same person.

    • It turns out we don’t actually know the rules to bowling.  At one point someone had to use their iphone to look up how you count a spare vs. a strike.  Luckily the magic computer scoring machine was doing all the math for us.   We would watch someone bowl and see how many pins were knocked down and then have to look up to the computer screen for it to tell us how that changed the score.  (“he’s got a strike and a spare and he just rolled a 6.  I wonder what the score will be?  Wow!  An 87!  Who’d a thunk it?”)  On one round, the highest score was a 129.  On another round the lowest score was a 147.  We were not particularly consistent.

    • Bowling alleys attract a rather odd collection of people, to the extent that a group of Stay at home Dads seems downright normal by comparison

    • Even when we’re off duty, we still can’t stop parenting. (“It’s 11:30!  Why is that 8 year old still here?  What are his parents thinking?”)

    • One Dad stopped at the dollar store and bought gifts for everyone.  Mark got a Homer Simpson antenna topper.  I got a Jack Bauer action figure.  I will treasure it always.

    • If you are with a group of people who never bowl, everyone can get really excited if someone actually gets a strike.  It can feel rather nice when 6 people are screaming for you when you have just accomplished something that is, too be honest, not much of an accomplishment.  It’s all about how low you set those standards

    • The DC metro closes a lot earlier than you might think.  I had picked up an SAHD who lived in Dupont from the metro earlier that night.  He didn’t have a car and that should never keep you from a night of manly bowling.  Well, I foolishly assumed that the metro would be open till 1:00 a.m.  Try, 11:30.  So, at midnight, I was driving into DC from Annapolis.  Which is why I didn’t get home until 2:00 a.m.  Although, pulling in at 2:00 a.m. from a night of hanging out with the guys does make me seem pretty cool huh?  (If only I wasn’t so very tired right now)

    So that was our night:  eating fancy appetizers, drinking a beer or two (but definitely not three!  Woah Nelly!) and making a general mockery of the “sport” of bowling.  It may not have been the most exciting night, but for a group of guys who spend inordinate amounts of time folding laundry and wiping feces off of small bottoms, it was pretty darn cool.

    Now we just need to get some t-shirts

  • When Elmo Became Real…. Or at Least Cotton

     
    Yesterday was a big day around our household. 

    It was the familial equivalent of the moon walk, or the Berlin Wall coming down, or the first day that Dr. Pepper was available commercially.

    Yesterday, for the first time, our three-year-old son Asher wore underwear all day long with no accidents!

    (And the heavens parted and the Dad said, “This is my beloved son, with whom I am well pleased”)

    For those of you who have not been through this day, or have passed it so long ago that you have forgotten its significance, let me briefly walk you through its import.

    First of all, Asher is three and a half.  He should have been out of diapers about a year ago, and was well on his way to doing just that when he had an unfortunate, and scarring, encounter with an automatic flushing toilet.  He went cold turkey from the potty for about 4 months afterward and then spent 6 months refusing to pee anywhere except in one specific toilet in our house.  And no amount of begging, shaming, bribery or threats could convince him otherwise.

    “Don’t you want to be a big boy?”

    He didn’t really care.  He’d get there soon enough

    “Don’t you want a sticker?”

    He already had one….. it was alright.

    “Don’t you want to go to preschool?”

    When he got around to it.

    “Don’t you want to go poop on the potty like a big boy?”

    He already did go poop on the potty.  Remember that one time a year ago?

    There was no convincing him.  He was not exactly stubborn, as much as he just didn’t care.  He didn’t really care if he was labeled a big boy or not, or whether potty training allowed him to experience another world of pleasure (ooooh, Preschool…… Swimming …..the Ikea play area!) 

    He’s just not all that interested in the rest of the world’s opinions of him.  I’m sure this is a lovely quality, but it’s a really annoying one for a parent.

    But yesterday we tossed aside our pampers baby dry size 6 diapers with elmo on the front and pulled on a brand new pair of cotton briefs….. with Elmo on the front  (geez he’s everywhere!)

    We went the whole day without any accidents. 

    He peed a bunch and pooped more frequently than the All-Bran factory staff.

    We went to a Maryland Women’s basketball game last night and over the course of 90 minutes I hauled various of my three kids back and forth to the bathroom no less than 5 times.  But by golly, there were no accidents and for that, I’ll traipse back and forth to the bathroom as often as he likes.

    There have of course been setbacks.   This was actually the second day he had been in underwear, but Monday didn’t go so well.   The first problem was when he came into the room completely naked from the waist down.

    “Where are your pants?” I asked

    “The potty is dirty” he answered.

    I ignored the fact that this answer did not really have anything to do with my question and followed him into the bathroom.

    The potty seat was, in fact, dirty.  Very very dirty

    “There’s something on the potty,” said Asher.

    “Yes,” I replied, “and I think I know what it is.  Remember, honey you have to call me if you need to be wiped, otherwise you smear.”

    “Smear?”

    “Yes, smear.”

    So we wheeled out the pressure washer and cleaned that up.

    But, still it was a valiant effort and this is a process after all, isn’t it?

    Later that afternoon, the kids were having a grand old time running through the woods and riding their bikes in the driveway.  After awhile I called Asher over to me and asked him if he needed to go potty.

    He looked up at me and said, “I’m completely soaked.”
    I looked down and indeed he was.  As it turns out his blue jeans were not so much stonewashed as they were completely covered in urine.

    What amuses me about this this is that

    a) it’s just flat out amusing that you can be playing so hard that you forget or don’t seem to notice that warm urine is cascading down your leg. 

    And

    b) that you just don’t seem to care that said urine is now coating your pants and slowly beginning to turn cold in the 50 degree weather until someone bothers to ask you about it.

    And I doubt that this is the last time we’ll have that kind of incident.

    I already have a change of clothes, complete with socks and shirt, packed in the diaper bag and it’s not likely that they will remain hermetically sealed in the Ziploc freezer bag forever, but it is still exciting nonetheless.

    Now, this process of moving to underwear made me recall a friend of mine who wept a little when their child was finally potty trained.  To her, it was a symbol that her child was growing up.  He was officially no longer a baby.  The end of diapers inherently meant the end of babyhood and the nearing of a time when her son would no longer want to sit in her lap and snuggle up to hear a story.  For her, it was the passing of an era and it brought her to tears.

    As you might imagine, as I reflected on this, it led me to one inescapable conclusion:

    This lady is completely insane!

    There will be no tears around our household at the abandonment of diapers.   Our tears are reserved for the first haircut, the first day of kindergarten, and the day our kids no longer want to ride on my shoulders. 

    The end of crapping in your pants is a day for rejoicing!

    And I can give you 5 reasons why:

    1. I am finally winning the war on diaper changes.  2 of my three children are now potty trained, instead of the other way around.  We have passeed the 50% mark.  This is huge!

    2.  We can start putting money in Asher’s college fund now that I don’t have to spend $60 a month on diapers for him.  This will increase his ability to attend college on the off chance that his “I don’t feel the need to impress anyone” attitude doesn’t cause him to fail out of high school.

    3.   I no longer have to carry two sizes of diapers with me, thus reducing the bulk of my diaper bag by 23%.

    4. Asher is growing up.  He’s turning into a big kid and can finally do some of those big kid things he missed out on this year, like going to preschool, being allowed in the county’s indoor pool and not having to lie awkwardly on the changing table of the zoo while his friends assume the manly swagger of a preschooler, pants around his ankles, standing at the urinal, blasting away with their imaginary lightsabers.

    5. It brings me one step closer to the time when I will no longer have to wipe feces off the bottom of another human.  I mean, I can do it.  I do it every day.  And I don’t’ complain much, but boy let me tell you, there will be some rejoicing when I throw that last diaper in the last diaper pail and put my last kid in a pair of underroos. 

    Some mighty rejoicing indeed.

    It might even surpass that Dr. Pepper day.  Who knows?

  • In the End, It’s More Than Just a Contest

     
    Some days it is a chore to come up with something to blog about. 

    I’ll sit and think hard about whether my kids have done anything remotely amusing.  I’ll scour the newspaper for anything peculiar or noteworthy.  I’ll see what kind of asinine headlines CNN is claiming as news.  For instance, today: “Dog Walker met Man From Other Planet” and “Woman on Horse Shops at Target.” 

    (I swear those were real headlines on CNN.com this morning….. CNN!)

    And then I usually just end up writing about my son’s toilet habits out of pure desperation.  (The life of a blogger isn’t always pretty)

    Ah, but then there are other days, when a story just sort of falls into your lap.

    Say, for instance, that you are sitting around with some friends watching the Duke / Texas game, when a commercial comes on, advertising:

    “The CBS Cares Colonoscopy Sweepstakes!”

    It’s like finding blogging gold…… in a colon.

    I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking that this isn’t true.  You are thinking that I am making this up.  That no one in their right mind would possibly have a colonoscopy sweepstakes, because that is crazy.  Well to you, doubter, I say this.  Please click here:

    http://www.cbs.com/cbs_cares/

    Now, don’t feel bad.  Lots of other people thought this was a joke too.  Do you know how I know this?  Because in the very first line of the information about the colonoscopy sweepstakes it says:

    “This is an actual sweepstakes.”

    I can understand why the reassurance is necessary.  I certainly thought that this might be a joke.  I mean, come on, nobody would actually give away a colonoscopy as a prize would they?

    I mean, is there a worse prize, than having someone do “that” to you?

    But, no.  They are serious.  The ad goes on to say:

    “If you are the grand prize winner, we will fly you and a companion to New York where you will receive a free colonoscopy. You will also be given three nights' accommodation in a suite at the luxurious Loews Regency Hotel, which will include the night before you are "awarded" the colonoscopy.”

    Several comments:

    1. So, this is the grand prize, huh?  What on earth could the second place prize possibly be?  A home enema?  A signed photo from Willard Scott?  Someone showing up at your door to spit at you?

    2. Isn’t it nice that they say “companion?”  It’s very thoughtful that they don’t want to assume that only straight married people want to be violated by a doctor, nor do they assume that your wife or partner would actually want to accompany you on this trip.

    3. Nothing says “winner” like a 5 hour plane flight after a colonoscopy.


    The contest rules go on to say (and I swear this is true):

    “Please read the rules for this sweepstakes carefully and consult with your physician before entering.”

    Here’s a hint.  If you need to consult your doctor before filling out a sweepstakes form, there is something truly, truly, truly wrong.

    So, I think what it comes down to for me, and I assume for everyone else is this:

    How badly do I want a free trip to New York City?

    Now, I love New York City.  It’s one of my favorite places to visit.  I would love to be given a three night stay in a luxury suite there.

    But is it worth allowing someone to shove a camera up my ***?

    Luckily I am saved from having to make this sort of difficult life decision, because the sweepstakes is only “Open to legal residents of the 50 U.S. & D.C., 40-79 years old… Void Where Prohibited.”

    This is the first time I have ever

    A) been grateful that I was too young to qualify for a contest

    B) decided that I wanted to find out exactly “where” this was “void where prohibited” so that I could move there.

    But don’t let me stop you.  This seems like a great opportunity for…. someone.

    I also think it’s nice that CBS has finally comes to terms with itself.  For years it has sort of been a joke that CBS’ audience skews a little older.  Certainly the network whose flagship shows are “60 minutes” and “The Price is Right” isn’t exactly young and hip.  And I think that it’s a good thing that they have finally given in and accepted the fact that only old people with broken colons watch their shows. 

    They should quit trying to give away ipods and typewriters and other new fangled devices.  Stick to what their viewers really want:  Bran cereal, ED drugs and colonoscopies.

    I did have one more closing thought, though.  If CBS can give away a colonoscopy, what’s to stop other people from jumping on the same bandwagon?  Why, there must be an endless number of products that could find success with such an effective promotion.

    How about:

    • Win a free Mammogram from Betty Crocker’s Lump-Free Powdered Potatoes! 

    • Buy one package of Momma Leonne’s Meatballs and Get a Coupon for a Free Testicular Exam!

    • Special K!  A speculum in every box!


    The possibilities are truly endless aren’t they?

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go lie about my age.

  • The Government Is Banning Books! They’re Banning Books!

     
    Oh, you just knew it was going to happen didn’t you?  But who would have thought it would happen under a Democratic administration?

    The government is banning children’s books.  That’s what the headline says:

    Group Wants Vintage Kids Books Off the Shelves

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29741214/

    Ooooh just like those liberals.  Of course they don’t want to ban the new books.  No, they love their Wiccan Harry Potter and inter-species dating vampire books.  No, they just want to ban the traditional stuff.  Like “The Little Engine that Could” and “Dick and Jane,” because, well…. that name is just inappropriate.

    And which vintage books does Obama want to take from our children?

    ALL OF THEM!

    That’s right, the commie lead Consumer Products Safety Commission (we’ll call them CCCP for short)  has just announced that they want libraries to get rid of every single children’s book ever published before 1986!

    This has been especially upsetting to Former President George W. Bush who once said that his favorite childhood book was “The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar” …… which was published in 1969….. the year Bush graduated from Yale (true story).

    But let’s not get distracted form the issue at hand.  The CCCP is at it again.  First they get all hot and bothered about cribs and baby safety just because they don’t want this to happen to your kid:

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    (real picture from their website)

    But this is too far.  Why would they tell America’s libraries to get rid of Dr. Seuss, The Snowy Day and Tom Swift and his Flying Boat?

    (Know what else was written before 1986?  The Bible!)

    Well, apparently, some smarty pants with too much time on his hand realized that books printed before 1986 used ink that contained lead and that if a child ate 7 or 8 dozen books with lead paint on them he would never ever ever get into Yale, and if he did, his favorite book would probably end up being the Hungry Hungry Caterpillar.

    We know this is a real danger.  The evidence is incontrovertible.  First of all, think about the kids you grew up with.  The kids who read lots and lots of books are probably the dumbest people you know, right?  Whereas the kids who spent their entire childhood watching the snorks and playing with non-lead based video games are the smartest, right?

    Secondly, think about the adults you know who currently read a lot of children’s books printed before 1986.  These people are not very smart, are they?

    The CCCP got this one right.

    And, the nation’s libraries reacted swiftly (and you just have to believe me when I tell you I’m not making any of this stuff up) 

    After the report went out two libraries immediately freaked out:

    “One roped off the children’s section; the other covered children’s books with a tarp.”

    Because they were run by total morons. 

    Total, absolute, uneducated, barely literate morons.  And I say that with all of the kindness in my heart.

    They “covered the books with a tarp?”  Are you kidding me?  Was is it a lead lined tarp?  Because otherwise the radiation from the lead paint might get out.  And only lead can prevent lead.  It’s like how only a diamond can cut a diamond, but different.

    Luckily most of our library professionals reacted as the condescending, self important, teen shhhhhhshing individuals that we all know and love

    Emily Sheketoff, director of the American Library Association put it best:

    “We’re talking about tens of millions of copies of children’s books that are perfectly safe. I wish a reasonable, rational person would just say, ‘This is stupid. What are we doing?”’

    Ah, but they never will, will they Emily?

    Another library leader (is that a real thing?) had this to say:

    ““Communities would have a stroke if public libraries started throwing out hundreds and hundreds of books just because they came out before a certain copyright date,” said Margaret Todd, librarian for the Los Angeles County system, which has 89 branches and about 3 million children’s books. Todd said she expects the commission to develop reasonable standards that protect children. “
    Oh well. 

    Good luck with that Margie.

    So, as a concerned parent myself, I have to insist that anyone who has books printed before 1986 in their homes, please, please do not lick them.

    Also, do not try to heat them in the microwave.  This will not go well.

    And do not, try to take 500 of them through airline security with you.  This will set off the alarms and also, lead is very heavy.

    Additionally, though your natural first inclination will be to burn the books, you should not.  They will release lead fumes that will make you stupid.  This is why people who burn books are so incredibly stupid.  (sort of a chicken or an egg thing, really.  Did they get stupid by burning the books…. Or…)

    However, if you are worried about the aliens shooting gamma rays in through your windows at night, then try lining your drapes with copies of Thidwick the Big Hearted Moose.  This should deflect the rays and possibly even give the aliens lead poisoning, thus reducing the chance of your being sold into slavery on planet Xenfojps.

    So I encourage vigilance, constant vigilance.  In fact, the CCCP is recommending only letting your children watch television until this nightmare can be resolved.  I wouldn’t even read books to your children, just in case.

    You can never be too safe.

    Too stupid?  Yes.

    But never too safe.

  • Kool-Aid Pickles. That’s Right. I Said, Kool-Aid Pickles

     
    About 13 years I graduated from college in New Jersey and moved to Mississippi to begin teaching third grade in a small, rural Delta town.

    As you might imagine, there were a number of culture shocks.  The omnipresent racial segregation was one.  The lack of a bookstore within 100 miles was another.  But, by far, the greatest culture shock, was the kool-aid pickle.

    “What the hell is a kool-aid pickle?”  You might ask.

    Well, let me tell you.  A kool-aid pickle is a dill pickle that has been soaked in kool-aid until it turns bright red and you have this bizarre/delicious combination of sweet and sour and colors not found in nature.

    Kool-aid pickles are a mainstay of the junk food diet in the Delta and can be found for sale on the counters of gas stations, but most often out of the kitchens of folks who sell them to the local kids for fifty cents.

    When I was put in charge of planning our school’s field day and was told to buy candy and snacks to sell to the kids (because what’s a school festival without candy and snacks to sell to the kids) I asked what kinds of things I should get.

    “Oh, you know,” (I did not), “Sour gummies, hot fries, chips, hot cheetos and kool-aid pickles”

    What?

    That’s right, if you wanted to make some money, forget popcorn machines or sodas.  A case of hugs and a 5 gallon bucket of kool-aid pickles are a lot more profitable.

    (Just FYI, it is also popular to shove a jolly rancher into a pickle and get that same sweet/sour flava)

    I have to admit that the entire time I was in the Delta, I never had a kool-aid pickle.  Now, I don’t regret this.  I never got a pickled pig’s foot from the giant jar next to the kool-aid pickles at the gas station and I never once bought the saran wrapped package of chicken feet at the grocery store (mainly because I had no idea what the heck you would do with them – seasoning?)

    In fact, I had all but forgotten about the kool-aid pickle and its odd place in my personal history until a friend sent me this link:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/09/dining/09kool.html

    (If you have time to read it, please do, it’s great)
    The New York Times wrote up an article IN THEIR FOOD SECTION talking about the gastronomical exquisiteness of the kool-aid pickle.

    I found the article charming and a little goofy and it brought back all kinds of memories, especially since I knew all of the locations the article referenced.

    I forwarded it around to a couple of friends and blissfully forgot all about kool-aid pickles again.  And then my Mississippi kids came. 

    The three teenagers who are living with us are, generally, very good about eating whatever food I make and not complaining.  They did, very politely, tell me that the black bean sweet potato burritos I made once were, “nasty,” but generally they’re pretty willing to eat what I put on the table.

    We do have an unspoken compromise though.  I try to make generally normal meals with meat and potatoes and they don’t ask me to cook up cow tongue or pig nuts or whatever the heck they’re craving (didn’t make either of those up). 

    But, I do honor the occasional special request.  I am not above picking up the occasional package of cheese-dogs (although I am above eating them) and I don’t mind every once in a while making buffalo wings (with homemade French fries with just a hint of old bay!)  And so I wasn’t too surprised when a request for Kool-aid pickles came in.

    Grossed out a little, but not surprised.

    So I went to Sam’s and bought a gallon jar of large dill pickles.

    They didn’t sell kool-aid at Sam’s so my kool-aid pickle hungry guests had to wait a couple of days before I could get to a regular grocery store.

    In that time, I did a quick search for kool-aid pickles on the web and what I found cracked me up.

    There are all these websites and blogs (oooh, how I hate the bloggers!) where these urban hipsters are touting how they sat around and made kool-aid pickles because they’re so urban and hip and stuff.  And then all of their friends, with screen names like silver_potato, noir, and fizzle3 comment on how wacky and hip and urbanely cool that sounds.

    Oh, it was bound to happen I suppose.  Just like southern cooking, music and fashion it was just a matter of time before hip white people co-opted a long standing black tradition to make it their own.

    It’s jazz all over again.

    I suppose I should fully expect some New York marketing kid from NYU to start selling “Kosher Kools” or “Dill-ishus” or “Vlassic on Acid” or whatever those damn hip urban hipsters would buy and carry around in their messenger bags while they read Samuel Beckett plays and drink their fair trade ginger soy sodas.

    I suppose it’s just a matter of time before the kool-aid guy comes busting through a wall with a thousand pickles swimming around inside his pitcher shaped body.

    (shudder)

    And will these white entrepeneurs ever give credit to the people they stole the ideas from?

    Just ask Bo Diddley.

    But back to my story of satisfying the need for some kool-aid pickles so my kids could relive that sweet taste of home.  Well, two days later, I brought home 4 packs of kool aid and a 10 pound bag of sugar.  We were good to go.  Except for one small thing:

    In the two days since I had brought the gallon jar of pickles home, they had all been eaten.

    A whole gallon.

    Two days.

    Maybe I’ll just wait until I cam pick up some Dill-ishus at the grocery store.  You can’t put a price on convenience.

  • News You Can’t Use

     

     

    We’re all busy and in this crazy life we lead it is sometimes easy to lose track of what’s really important:

     

    The news.

     

    So, if you’ve found yourself too busy to read the entire paper or to scroll down to the very bottom of CNNs 400th daily story about the economy, or maybe if you’ve read it all, but it just doesn’t make any sense, well, I’m here to help.  It’s time to catch up so you can, once again, walk over to the water cooler holding your head high, ready and able to discuss mistaken monkey murders. (What?  Don’t worry, I’ll explain)

     

     

    Bernie Madoff Gets Life Sentence

     

    Ok, here’s my question about this.  What the heck is Bernie Madoff still doing in this country?  He just voluntarily agreed to a life sentence without a trial.  If ever there was a man who should have tried to slip out of the country and live off the billions I’m sure he has tucked away in a Swiss bank account, it was Bernie.

     

    I mean what did he have to lose?  The whole country hates him, he’s guilty as sin and everyone wants to see him swing.  Why did he hang around? 

     

    He ran a multi billion dollar ponzi scheme.  I have trouble believing he couldn’t have figured out a way to escape across the Mexican border, undergo plastic surgery in Antigua and become a wealthy recluse in the Andes. 

     

    Has the man never even been to the movies?  This is what evil geniuses do.  Sure, the lone FBI agent who “just can’t let this one go” usually tracks the villain down, but I doubt we really have that many of those. 

     

    But no, Bernie just waltzed downtown, admitted everything and then rode off to jail. 

     

    Boring.

     

     

    Kellogg Donates Phelps Cereal Boxes to Food Bank

     

    http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/9325148/Kellogg-donates-Phelps-cereal-boxes-to-food-bank?MSNHPHCP&GT1=39002

     

    You probably missed this one, but Kellogg is ashamed of Michael Phelps and his drug use.  Which is fine.  It was pretty stupid of Phelps, and besides, I’ve always thought he was a little homely.  I don’t really want to see that giant chin staring back at me across the breakfast table anyway.

     

    So Kellogg has cancelled their endorsement deal and they are refusing to send out any more boxes of cereal with his picture on it, lest kiddies get the wrong idea about what the prize is in the bottom of the bag.  (although oddly enough, he just got a big endorsement deal with Pillsbury Brownie Mix)

     

    The thing that cracks me up, though, is that the entire article is about how the whole drug community is up in arms and wants to boycott Kellogg for being….I don’t know, legal and stuff. 

     

    Yeah, potheads, that’s a group that’s going to be easy to organize.

     

    The leader of the pro-marijuana group, the Marijuana Policy Project said, “he'd never seen his membership so angry, with more than 2,300 of them signing an online petition.”

     

    Wow.  2300 you say?  That ought to leave Kellogg shaking in their boots.

     

    The article then goes on to talk about how sugared cereals with demented cartoon characters on them are basically a pothead’s favorite thing in the world and how it is going to be really hard for them to stick to the boycott.  In fact the petition ends with this line: (swear this is true)

    "Given all these facts and the total disregard for your customer base ... we the undersigned plan to BOYCOTT your products. And we're serious. Even though the Pop Tarts thing will be HARD."

    Somewhere, the CEO of Post Fruity Pebbles is smiling.

     

    Our next story is about an “Extreme Fisherman”

    No Bait, Just Tackle

    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/29653634/?GT1=43001

    “What the hell does that mean?” you might ask.

    Basically it means some nutjob flies over the ocean in a helicopter and then when he sees a marlin, he jumps on it and tries to…. I don’t know…what….  Drown it?

    As you might expect, this level of stupidity is only deserving of one thing:  It’s own television show.

    So, in the next few weeks, “Extreme Fishing” will be coming to that weird TV station that you either already watch all the time, or never ever, ever watch, depending on who you are.

    So, why would someone do this?  This jumping on large fish from a helicopter thing?

    Well, the answer couldn’t be simpler really.  Matt Watson, the Extreme Fisher explains:

    “I’ve been around fish and fishing my whole life, and having caught so many fish, the thrill started wearing off.”

    Now, I know it’s hard to imagine how fishing could ever stop being thrilling, what with all the sitting and waiting and stuff, but for poor Matt Watson that’s exactly what happened.  So apparently one night when he was sitting around drinking with his friends (there’s a shocker for ya) one of them mentioned that they had heard of these (presumably drunk) guys who liked to ride on a helicopter over New Zealand until they found a herd of deer at which point they would try to jump on to the back of the deer to, I suppose, wrestle them to the ground and skin and fillet them with their bare teeth.

    Now this may sound crazy to you, but honestly, it seems like the most sporting thing I’ve ever heard of.  It’s one thing to wear camouflage and hang out in a tree with your rifle so you can shoot a deer a hundred yards away without moving.  I don’t know that that is as much a sport as it is something you could just do from your living room if it was legal.

    I mean, really does that seem fair?  Does hanging out in a tree from across the forest seem like an equal fight?  Does sitting on a bench with a fishing pole and a hook seem fair? 

    Now waiting to jump down onto a deer and then trying to haul it to the ground and kill it with your own bare hands?  Now that’s a fair fight.  Even more so with a fish.  Come on!  Nets?  Hooks?  Those are for playground nancy-boys.  A real man captures a 250 pound fish with his bare hands!

    So, I salute you crazy New Zealander Matt Watson, for keeping the sport sporting.  Also, say hello to Michael Phelps for me.  My guess is you guys hang out a lot.

     

     

    When Women Bring Home the Bacon

    http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=7091613

     

    Us stay at home dads are used to some relatively positive press.  We are the quintessential puff piece: the man who defies gender roles so that he can stay home with his kids and the woman who supports him.  It seems crazy and yet it works.  Who knew?  Tomorrow tune in to watch a kangaroo who loves to play basketball!

     

    But every once in a while some sexist, backwoods, intellectual midget runs a piece maligning our fair occupation. 

     

    Today, that, sexist, backwoods, intellectual midget is Diane Sawyer.

     

    This clip from Good Morning America is about a Dad who lost his job and was forced to stay home with the kids because of the darned economy (Damn you Madoff!).  The mom (who already worked) was forced to pick up some extra work to support everyone and now everybody hates everybody and their cute little kid is going to have to use her college fund for therapy.

     

    The interesting thing here (and if you are a regular reader of this blog, you already know this) is that our Stay at home Dad group was contacted about this very same story.  We were asked if we knew any stay at home dads forced to stay home with the kids because they lost their jobs.  We looked around, and said, no, we’re all pretty happy.

     

    So evil Diane Sawyer went looking until she found America’s most screwed up family.

     

    The mother hates the father because he doesn’t provide for the family any more and she just can’t respect him.  The dad seems like he’s trying to do the best he can with his sad little unemployed self, but the wife clearly hates him.  The kid says she spends most of the time outside on the swingset to get away from the fighting.

     

    At one point the couple is sitting together on the couch and mentions that this is the closest they have been to one another in years.

     

    WOW!  Do you think there’s any chance that this family had a couple of issues before the dad lost his job?

     

    If you like horrifying, uncomfortable investigations of a family disintegrating before your very eyes on national television, then you should watch this video.  And remember, it’s all because the Dad stayed home with the kids and that just doesn’t work. 

     

    Also, the wife is nuts.

     

     

    But let’s not end with something that crazy.  Let’s end with something, much, much crazier:

     

    Man Mistakes Woman for a Monkey, Shoots Her

     

    (You thought I’d forgotten about the Mistaken Monkey Murders, didn’t you?)

     

    Now, if it makes you feel better, this happened in Malaysia where apparently there are a lot of monkeys and a lot of inebriated blind people with guns.

     

    Basically a man heard a rustling in his tree, assumed it was another of those damned dirty apes and shot it.  When he heard someone screaming (presumably a lot of Malaysian cuss words) he realized that it was not a monkey, but actually his neighbor picking fruit.

     

    So…. What have we learned here?  My guess is absolutely nothing, although I might recommend calling out “Hey, Mary Ann! Is that you?” before discharging your weapon into your fruit tree.

     

    So with that tidbit of advice, I leave you today - hopefully wiser and less likely to mistake people for monkeys.  Good luck.  I’m off to eat some Frosted Flakes.

     

    They’re Great!

     

  • I’ll Have the #12 Combination and the Lady Will Have the Vegetarian E

     
    I like where we live.

    I understand that no place can be perfect.  And given my druthers, I’d rather live in a fancy log cabin, on a couple hundred acres on the top of a mountain, surrounded by a lake, with a 15 minute drive into a major city populated by charming, witty, friendly, diverse, Southern folk who were all raging liberals.  But this has proven financially, culturally, and geographically prohibitive.  It also might defy the laws of physics – not sure.

    So that being said, choosing a place to live is largely a series of compromises.  You trade in the dream of living on a hundred acres in the mountains, for the pleasant reality of living on a couple of acres half an hour from Washington, DC.  The sweet tea is not as plentiful as you like, but the percent of people listening to NPR is.  You are not on a lake, but you drive over an inlet to the Chesapeake daily and while you can’t see the mountains, you can see museums, plays and folk music on a nightly basis.

    It’s all a compromise.  And so far, with a few minor exceptions, (why can’t anyone say the word “pecan” properly?) I’ve been very happy with our choice to live here.

    But there has been one significant lapse.

    Ever since we moved to the DC area, we have been looking for something.  A certain restaurant that is both reminiscent of home and yet as universal as a kiss goodbye: the cheap, authentic, Mexican restaurant.

    500 years ago when I was in my early twenties and teaching in Mississippi there was just such a place.  It was called “La Pinata” and it was our one shining beacon of hope in the dark, desolate, wasteland that is our 20th state.

    There was a small group of us outsiders teaching in Mississippi.  I grew up nearby in Tennessee and was completely unprepared for how different and out of place I felt in the small Delta town where we lived.  (Just think what my Jewish roommate from Massachusetts or my lesbian friend from Wisconsin felt like). 

    We were all teaching in Mississippi as a part of “Teach for America” and had, all things considered, adapted well to the area.  We were making $19,500 which doesn’t sound like a lot, but we were sharing a house that rented for $450 a month, so we got by.

    There wasn’t much to do in the little town we were in.  There was a two screen movie theater, but the features didn’t change very often and weren’t always of interest to us (I swear I am not exaggerating when I say that, at one point,  the theater showed “Booty Call” for three months straight). 

    But there was one thing to rejoice about.

    La Piñata.

    It was a simple, chintzy Mexican restaurant.  The kind of place you brought the family to on Friday night.  It had tacky velvet paintings on the wall and inflatable parrots holding a bottle of corona hanging from the ceiling.  The tables were lacquered, and coke or sweet tea was served in giant plastic tumblers.  The chips and salsa were free and plentiful and we never waited more than 4 minutes between when we ordered and when we were served.  And to top it off, your average meal cost $4.75 ($5.25 if you wanted to splurge on the extras).

    It was also ideal because my Jewish and lesbian friends were both vegetarians (I know, I know, it’s like they picked up a book of Yankee stereotypes before they moved) and La Piñata had 5 vegetarian meals A-E (to differentiate from the meat meals which were numbered).

    I doubt there was a week that went by that we didn’t eat there at least once - and usually more than that.  It was not uncommon to go there on Friday night only to have friends call you up on Saturday asking if you wanted to meet them there for dinner.

    Of course!

    It was just that good and it was also just about the only option around for poor school teachers who were good friends with vegetarians.

    We became regulars and the waiters and waitresses all recognized us on sight.  One even took a liking to me and, in front of my wife, would come over, ignoring the rest of the table, and rub my back saying, “More Cocas Senor?” when my drink needed a refill.

    This was very flattering, save for the fact that it was a 200 pound 40-year-old man who was waiting on us.

    When we finally left Mississippi, La Pinata,  along with my students, my friends, and my co-workers, was one of the few things I missed.

    Luckily, these small Mexican places are all over the south.  The names are different, but the décor and menus are practically identical.  I sometimes wondered if there wasn’t some kind of bizarre program where every small town in the southeast was issued a Mexican restaurant. 

    The next few years took us to several small southern towns where we could get our weekly dose of authentic Mexican at “La Carretta,” “Rio Grande,” or “El Puerto.”

    When we moved to Maryland, we just naturally assumed that we would have no trouble finding our secret deep fried pleasure.  Out snooty friends (including my old Mississippi room mate who had relocated here) took us to all kinds of Mexican restaurants, but they were trendy and expensive and had hordes of 22 year old Senate interns lolling at the bar in the one suit their mothers had bought them before they left home.

    This wasn’t right!  This was not the La Pinata way!

    We searched in vain for years, stopping at various places.  We went to several of the authentic Mexican restaurants in Latino neighborhoods, but they were, somehow, too authentic.  Where was the black plastic salsa bowl?  Where were the tacky paintings?  And why, in the name of all that is holy, do these places insist on using glasses made of glass? 

    And tablecloths?  What is this, the Ritz?

    I have despaired for many years, never thinking I would find this magical place that I missed so much. 
     
    And then it happened.

    Yesterday we were driving past a strip mall and I saw a sign for “Mi Casita.”

    I braked quickly.  This looked good – it was in a strip mall.  It had a goofy name.  I could practically taste the free chips and salsa!

    We pulled in and the second I walked in the door, it was like coming home.

    We were seated by the friendly waiter and before we could say anything, chips and salsa appeared before us in a little basket and black plastic bowl. 

    The menu was numbered and there was a small vegetarian section.  Sure, there was a small page of “special entrees” that you had to order by name instead of number, but I’m willing to let that slide. 

    As you might expect, the prices were a bit higher.  Something about the passing of ten years and relocating from the nation’s poorest state to the nation’s wealthiest state may have had something to do with it, but for around here, it was still pretty reasonable.

    I had a #10 combination (burrito, enchilada and taco) and a diet coke.  When my drink came out in a giant plastic cup, I almost started to weep.

    A few minutes later, the food was at our table, like magic.  It was on the oval shaped white ceramic plates that all of these establishments are issued with their building permits and it looked and tasted just like they had ordered it from La Pinata, flash frozen the meals, flown them to Maryland on a private jet and then warmed them up for us.

    I will pause now, in my effusive praise,  to give a moment of criticism.  As anyone, who has frequented this kind of establishment knows, the proper thing for a waiter to say when he (or she) is placing your food in front of you is “hot plate.”  I must have heard it a thousand times and it is like the music of angels singing in my ears.

    Well, our waiter said (repeatedly!) “plate hot,” “plate hot.”

    This is unacceptable.  But Mi Casita has not been open long and perhaps all the employees have not had a chance to peruse the operating manual.

    I also was disappointed that there was not any inflatable beer paraphernalia hanging from the ceiling, and the paintings were not on velvet, but you can’t begrudge someone for classing their place up.  Besides, the tables were lacquered and that’s what really counts. 

    I also was saddened to see that there was not a place to purchase mini york peppermint patties - two for 25 cents.  I know this seems random, but I swear, I’ve probably been in 20 of these restaurants and they all have mini york peppermint patties two for 25 cents.  They are the perfect after-dinner amuse bouche. 

    But, I was so pleased to find this place, maybe I’ll stop by Sam’s and get a giant tub of them and make the hand written “2 for 25” sign myself.

    It’s the least I could do.

    It was all so perfect.  The chips were hot and delicious, the food was excellent and I smiled all the way through the meal.  I kept saying “I’m just so happy” so often that I think my wife thought I was drunk. 

    When the waiter came to refill my drink, he simply said “Would you like more Coke, sir?”

    This was a little disappointing, but we have just met, after all.

    Give it time.

    So, if there’s anyone out there who has read this with the kind of inner longing that can only come from a life spent too far away from such an establishment, I urge you to head over to Mi Casita.

    1334 Defense Hwy # I
    Gambrills, MD 21054
    (410) 451-0025

    And tell them that Better off Dad sent you. 

    This won’t actually mean anything to them and they’ll probably look at you funny, but it will help me out when I go in next week and complain about the “plate hot” thing.

    Que aproveche!

     


    (I don’t actually know what that means, but according to “the internets” that’s how you say Bon Appétit in Spanish)

  • What Does Your Bumper Sticker Say About You?

     
    I have written about bumper stickers before in this space.  I actually sort of have an affinity for bumper stickers because of what they presume to say about the people inside the car. 

    Some bumper stickers let you know that the person is a Christian.  Some tell you that the driver is a Redskins fan.  Some tell you that the driver is a big fan of Crazy Charlie’s Chicken Palace and some just tell you that the owner is a moron.

    For instance, as I was driving Jessie to work this morning at 4:30, we passed a massive pick up truck that said:

    “Keep Honking, I’m reloading”

    Ha Ha Ha! You like to shoot people!  Ha Ha Ha.

    I feel like if you posted that on the internet, the FBI would show up at your door, but if you drive around with it on your bumper, then you’re just a funny guy.

    Right.

    A couple of weeks ago, I went to the grocery store and saw a series of bumper stickers lined up on three cars.  The first said:

    “Autism: It’s no Mystery, It’s Mercury.”

    Okey doke. 

    Actually, I think it is still a mystery at least that’s what all the doctor people are saying.

    This is the kind of thing that makes my mind start to wander.  I don’t really think badly about this person.  There is nothing more frustrating than dealing with an illness that doesn’t have a diagnosis or a cure, or a cause.  It makes me wonder.  Does this person have this bumper sticker because they have a family member with autism and they have reached come to the sincere conclusion that it was caused by mercury poisoning, despite there being very little scientific proof of this? 

    It’s a bumper sticker like this that makes me want to know the story behind it.  What is the history of this person and their belief system?  How did this all come to be?  You get a glimpse into this person’s life, but only an incomplete, snapshot of a glimpse and it makes me want to know more.

    And also did this have anything to do with the fact that (I kid you not) this bumper sticker was on a Mercury Sable?

    Then there are the bumper stickers that really leave you no question about a person’s history or belief system, like the car right next to the Mercury that simply said:

    “Tattooed White Trash”

    Heck, it’s practically an autobiographical haiku.

    The third car only had one bumper sticker and it said,

    “Drill here, Drill Now”

    Now, I know that this was a, somewhat random, campaign issue (although clearly the most important issue for this guy in the Lincoln Town Car) but it still struck me as a little odd for him to suggest that we drill HERE, and to do it NOW, because it sort of implies that you should haul out a porta-derrick and position it over the trunk of the Lincoln.  I couldn’t help but imagine, the drill going through the trunk of the car as the operator shouted “He was right!  We’ve struck gas!  It appears to be Shell Unleaded Premium, Woo Hoo!”

    I know, I’m a little silly.

    Although not as silly as the guy who had this bizarre bumper sticker / advertisement on the back of his car:

    “BilltheXSguy.com”

    Ok, now I have no idea what your first thought was when you read that, but I can tell you exactly what mine was.  I read it.  Then I read it again, and thought:

    “Why would anyone go out of their way to tell everyone that they were Bill: the Extra Small Guy?”

    Seems like that’s the kind of thing I would keep to myself.

    As it turns out, this guy sells (apparently out of the back of his truck) an energy drink called XS, as in “excess.”

    I don’t care.  I think my point still stands.

    I’m going to leave you with two of the most favorite things I have seen on cars lately.  One, supremely disturbing, and one supremely cool.

    First the one that will haunt you in your sleep:

    I spent about half an hour trying to find this on the internet this morning.  And I must say I am somewhat heartened that it is not widely available (took me 12 seconds to find trucknutz). 

    I pulled up behind this truck (come on, you knew it was a truck before I even said so, didn’t you?)  with this on it and I had to do a double and then a triple take.  It was one of those “I can’t believe what I’m seeing” moments that I don’t tend to have all that often.

    What exactly does this mean?

    That you think deer are sexy?

    That you wish your girlfriend would wear a deer head?

    That you want to have carnal relations with… 


    I can’t even begin to contemplate that.  I just know that this is wrong.  Very, very wrong.  And again, I feel like it’s the kind of thing that the FBI should investigate.  I know.  They’re busy with domestic terrorism and stuff, but for the sake of Bambi, can’t they spare Mulder and Scully to look into this?  It’s just not ok.  What could possibly cause someone to put that on their car?

    I’m guessing mercury poisoning.

    But, luckily that’s not what I am going to leave you with today.  I’m going to leave you with the opposite of the scary sexy deer mudflap girl.  I’m going to leave you with this:

    Perhaps the greatest mudflap girl ever:


    I’m going to get two for Sarah’s mini.

  • The Next Big News Story

     
    It’s been very interesting being a stay at home dad in this day and age.  It’s certainly not like being a SAHD in the 70s or 80s when I assume you were regularly belittled by teamsters and reported to the police by mothers at the playground, but it’s still an odd enough occupation that the media covers it as “an emerging trend.” 

    I guess I’m sort of like crocs.

    Reporter:  “Perhaps you’ve seen people wearing these ugly rubber shoes.  Well they’re called Crocs and despite the fact that they look like something that social services might be handing out free to the homeless, they are actually the hottest trend around, and they’re popping up everywhere!”

    Is sort of like:

    Reporter:  “Perhaps you’ve been down at the local playground and seen a man pushing his kid on the swing.  Well, he’s a stay at home dad and despite the fact that he looks like he ought to be in an office somewhere working, he is actually part of a new trend, one that you can see popping up everywhere!”

    Yes, the media has a bit of an odd infatuation with us SAHD’s. 

    I help organize a local playgroup of SAHD’s and their kids.  We get together a couple of times a week to let the kids play together,  financially support our local Starbucks and talk about whatever comes to mind.  It’s a pretty innocuous gathering, made interesting only by the fact that it is made up of 4 or 5 guys with diaper bags hanging out at the mall in the middle of the day.

    Because we have a web presence, whenever a reporter comes up with a new angle on the SAHD thing, we tend to get an email looking for someone to interview.  Because we are a kind and generous folk and because we like to see our kids in the newspaper, we always say yes. 

    In the last couple of years, we have been the subject of two random newspaper stories, two father’s day stories, two local TV human interest segments, a graduate journalism assignment and a featured story on Japan’s version of Good Morning America (no joke).

    So, just like Jamie Lynn Spears and Tom Hanks, we are used to the media attention, and honestly, we’re pretty good at it.  Our group has some interesting stories (One dad gave up his career as a professor to stay home!  One dad is dealing with a daughter who has just gone through heart surgery!  One dad has 6 kids, 5 of whom are adopted!)  And we’ve gotten a sense of what kind of things make good sound bytes:

    “This has given me a chance to know my children in a way that I never could if I had been working.”

    Anyway, this has all been well and good.  Our kids get a little celebrity, the local news gets a 3 minute segment to fill out their newscast on a day when no bodies were found in a freezer, and we get the message out that a dad staying home is a pretty normal thing.
     
    Sometimes, however,  you get the feeling that the reporters are a little disappointed in what they find at our interviews.  In general, we are a competent group of parents.  We bathe regularly, hug our kids a lot, and most of us even cook dinner.  You can always tell that the reporter is secretly hoping to find the dad that is eager to badmouth his wife on television, or is ready to breakdown crying about how hard this job is.  They also want us to relate stories of little old ladies giving us snotty advice and our poker buddies ridiculing us for being effete, prissy, losers who wear aprons instead of tool belts.

    Unfortunately, most of us are pretty happy with our lives and good at what we do.  In general we present such a skilled presence while changing diapers that the worst thing we hear (although we hear it a lot) is “are you giving mommy a break today?”  And in general we don’t have a lot of jerky friends who would ridicule what we do because A. they wouldn’t really be friends would they?  And B. none of us left a career working as a 1940s Boston cop in order to stay home.

    So, all of this is really a preface to tell you about the newest stay at home dad story coming to a paper near you.  We have gotten several emails from reporters looking for someone to interview who lost his job in the recession and has been forced to stay at home with his kids.  (By golly, they’re going to get somebody to cry on national television if it kills them!)

    Our group has not responded because we don’t have anyone who fits into that category.  Now, I would say that the majority of our dads all decided to stay home after weighing the value of their job against the cost of day care, the income of their wife’s job and their own temperament.  And there may be a couple of dads who came into this a little less willingly than others, but pretty much everyone who shows up at the mall carrying around 16 ounces of breastmilk in their diaper bag, is someone who chose this.  Each of them had other options and they sat down with their wives and together made the decision that it would be best for the children and best for the family if the husband stayed home.

    So we have been of no help to the mass of foaming reporters circling the stay at home dad world searching for the sickly antelope. 

    I think there is something that bugs me about this story - partly because it’s emotionally manipulative.  In one story you have a man forced out of a good paying job because of our crappy economy, you probably have some family tension over money, housecleaning and gender roles, and unless you end up with a total jerk, you have a story about a father who says that even though it’s been hard, and it sucks that he lost his job, “This has given me a chance to know my children in a way that I never could if I had been working.”

    It is just the epitome of what that last three minutes of a newscast has become:

    Monday:  Meet a kitty that lost three limbs in a tragic blender accident, but thanks to “wheels of love” can now drag it’s useless corpse of a body around the living room and still be petted by it’s somewhat grossed out owner!

    Tuesday:  There hasn’t been much fishing for John Macintosh ever since his wife passed away last year, plus with the economy being so bad, all the fish are now owned by  China.  But John’s not giving up.  With the help of “Lures of Love” John now goes fishing twice a week at the Baltimore Aquarium.  “I never thought I’d be able to do this again,” said John who is confined to an iron lung.

    Wednesday: Bob was a successful CEO of Citibank until the nation’s devastating recession forced him out of a job.  Now Bob has traded the Dow-Jones for the Diaper-Genie.  That’s right, Bob has been staying home to care for his children while his wife, Anastasia Delawrence Rivington sells Mary Kay cosmetics to hobos on the streets of Manhattan.  “It’s been hard,” said Bob, “But, this has given me a chance to know my children in a way that I never could if I had been working.  Plus, the 32 billion dollar severance package has helped.”

    I’ve already found one example of this kind of story in the Seattle Times titled “Pink Slips: More Men Home / Wives Working.”

    http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2008826425_breadwinner08.html

    It’s exactly what you might expect it to be.  I could hve probably written the entire article without reading it, including the inevitably insipid phrase: 

    “More and more men are going from the cubicle to the kitchen.”

    HA HA HA HA get it?  Cubicle to the Kitchen!  HA HA HA.  It’s alliteration!

    Hoo boy, those journalism majors sure are witty.  What will they think of next?

    Probably this same exact news story a dozen more times, written with the same exact style, series of quotes, and general tone.  But there will be one important difference.  They will each come up with their own asinine alliterative catch phrase.  But that does seem like a lot of work for all of these poor reporters who are likely to be unemployed soon since nobody reads the paper any more, so I thought I would help them out.

    So here are a few more phrases guaranteed to keep your story from winning a Pulitzer:

    From Wall Street to Wal-mart

    From the Board Room to Babies R US

    From Flying First Class to Wiping Diaper Rash

    From Brokering Corporate Takeovers for 100 Million to Baking Cupcakes for the 100th day of school

    From taking home a paycheck to checking to see if you can pay for your home

    (that last one was pretty good.  Alert Greta Van Susteren)

    Alright that’s enough, I can’t do all the work.  Besides I have to get back to my real job which is taking care of my kids.  A job I chose to do, because, you know what? 

    It’s given me a chance to know my children in a way I never could if I had been working.

  • Sorry, Go Phish

     
    Last year I was in an airport and this young couple at a bar turned to me and said, “Oh my gosh, you look just like Trey from Phish.”

    Now you, dear reader, have the advantage of reading that statement and all of it’s spelling nuances, whereas I had the particular misfortune of just hearing it and having to figure out why in the world this seemingly nice, but a little bit off, couple had just told me I looked like a “tray of fish.”

    “What?” I said, smiling, trying to seem polite to the crazy people.

    “You totally look just like the guy from Phish.”

    The guy from fish.  This still wasn’t making the least bit of sense to me.  What the hell were these people talking about?  It was only 10 am.  Have they started serving alcohol in the airport already?

    “You know, the band, Phish.”

    Now, they were looking at me like I was the crazy one. 

    As it turns out, the drunk couple was saying that I looked a lot like Trey Anastasio, the lead singer of the band Phish.

    Ok.

    Now, I was not really a Phish fan growing up…. Or once I was grown up…. Or… ok, I had no idea what they sound like.  I did, however, feel like it was important for me to figure out what they look like, and yes, if I grew my hair out and wore a lot more black, and did excessive amounts of heroin then, yes, I think I probably would look a lot like Trey from Phish.

    So, ever since I’ve discovered that my doppelganger is the lead singer of the 90’s generation’s grateful dead, I have kept an eye out for stories related to this group.  I do this mainly because I realize that I am likely to be mistaken for Trey and I want to know what weird things I might have done.  So, in keeping with this principle, I had to pause when I saw this headline:

    “Police Seize More than 1 Million from Phish Fans”

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29602718/

    What!  How dare they?

    I was concerned that my fans were being abused by the police, but apparently you can only have so many concerts full of elicit drug use before the cops catch on. 

    Phish recently had a concert in Hampton Roads, Virginia (not an area known for their leniency in the area of illegal drugs) and 200 cops showed up apparently to look for illegal drugs, and they found some.  1.2 million dollars worth.

    1.2 Million dollars!  And that’s in 2009 dollars.  That stash would have been worth almost 4 million before the recession hit the drug trade so badly!

    They also confiscated $68,000 worth of cash.  I suppose this was for… I don’t know, bribes?

    Anyway, it was very disappointing to see my lookalike involved in such unseemliness.

    I mean, it wasn’t as bad as it was for that guy who looks like OJ Simpson and used to get free drinks everywhere and now just gets spit on, but still, disappointing.

    On the upside, no one over 34 (this apparently includes myself) knows who this Tray of Fish guy is, so I doubt I’ll get many dirty looks from people at the checkout line.  It could also be that the three children I lug around with me are a tip off.  Although the bags under my eyes and slight twitch in my right eye might easily be confused for a life of drug use, but, again, once they saw the children with me I think all would be understood.

    My other research into the band that could have been mine if only I knew more than four chords on the guitar, revealed that they live in Vermont (I would like to live in Vermont), that they have a huge, fiercely loyal, and wildly intoxicated fanbase (I would like a huge, fiercely loyal fanbase, intoxicated or not) and that people on the band’s message boards use the word “dude” a lot (I could go either way on that).

    I also learned that Trey just performed with the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra.  (Of course he did.  I guess ever since Pavarotti died there’s been a lot of people needed to pick up the slack.) 

    This was most disappointing to learn because had I known in advance I could have gone to the concert to meet him, although this could have been dangerous.  Judging from 80% of the recent Disney channel shows I’ve watched, there is a very good chance that I would have gotten pulled in at the last moment and forced to pretend to be Trey and fake my way through a full set list of his songs that I didn’t know while Trey ran off to defeat the evil dognappers who were using the concert as an opportunity to steal Trey’s rare miniature great danes’s and make them into coats.

    Or something like that. 

    So anyway, it’s just as well that I didn’t go.  Besides, it’s probably disappointing to meet your look a like only to discover that one of you is healthier, happier and more interesting than the other.

    And I wouldn’t want Trey from Phish to feel bad.  After all, he is my secret twin.

  • That One Magical Day

     
    One of the things I love about living in Maryland is the relatively mild seasons we have.  I love that you can practically guarantee that if you have a foot of snow one week, the next week it’s going to be 70 degrees.

    How do I know this to be true?  Well, on Monday we had almost a foot of snow and I was hanging out at the mall because out power was out and the temperature was in the single digits and then on Saturday, it hit 74 degrees and I was wearing shorts. 

    Sure, its sort of like climactic whiplash, but nice climactic whiplash.

    As a child, I loved the unexpected snowday.  I loved waking up to discover that I didn’t have to go to school that morning and could spend the day playing at home, all because, overnight, an inch and a half of snow had appeared on our Tennessee streets, absolutely freaking everyone out.  As an adult, I feel the same way about these mid-winter days of summer weather.  Out of nowhere you wake up and step outside in your sweater only to realize that it is way to hot and that you need to go back inside and dig out that old pair of Jams.

    The trick on these days it to not let them pass by quietly.  You need to treat them like snow days.  They are these brief magical gifts from God.  And if you squander them by staying inside or doing something silly like going to work, then two days later when it’s 35 and raining, you’ll just be angry and bitter and eyeing the whiskey at 10a.m.

    No, you have to seize that day.  If you have stuff going on, cancel it.  Consider taking a sick day.  You can go back to work when it’s cold and miserable like the rest of the season always is.  No, for this one day, pretend that it’s an unusually pleasant August afternoon and treat it as such.

    When we got our little sun holiday this last Saturday, Sarah had to work (she clearly hadn’t read this blog posting).  So I decided to get outside and take the kids biking.  The only trick was that I have three kids and none of them can ride a bike.  Now a normal person (read: loser) might have decided that this was a significant impediment and  chosen a different activity, but not me!

    Audra has one of those trail a bike things that I attached to my bike.  And then I attached our bike trailer to that.  So we had this little circus train of bikes with Audra behind me and Asher and Micah behind her.  Just as the manufacturers had intended.

    There are several things you should know about such an arrangement:

    1. You probably shouldn’t do this because it looks really dangerous.

    2. It’s actually completely fine, quit being such a worry-wart

    3. You get lots of peculiar looks

    4. It is really really hard to peddle up hill or even on a slight incline, and sometimes when it’s completely flat.

    5. You need to take very wide turns, or you’re likely to jackknife the whole thing and take out some foreign tourists in the process.

    But I was undaunted by all of this and loaded my kids up (after the 30 minutes assembly process) and we spent a lovely March Summer day biking around DC.  We rode by the Lincoln, FDR, Jefferson, Washington and WWII memorials, rode the carousel and then met Sarah for lunch on the lawn of the white house (well as close to the lawn of the white house as you can get without being shot)

    It was a lovely day and it’s the kind of day each of you ought to have the next time you get that peculiar burst of summer weather.

    Of course it won’t be any time soon. We’re quickly dropping back into a period where the highs are only in the 40s, but someday soon, out of nowhere we’re going to have a day in the 70s and I want you to be ready.  So I have prepared a list of a few things around our Nation’s capital that are the perfect escape on that warm winter’s day.

    If you don’t live around DC I would recommend that you stop reading this blog right now and do something more productive, like catch up on the old Nancy and Sluggo comics you have missed:

    http://comics.com/nancy/

    But for those of you who are so fortunate as to live in this lovely intersection of history, culture, then please find something on this short list that appeals to you and make plans to head out the next time global warming kicks in.  Some of the things on this list are probably new to you, but some are probably not.  Besides, what do you want from me?  I’m a blogger not a tour guide.  So pack some cheese crackers, strap on your fanny packs and carpe some of that diem.


    Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens   http://www.nps.gov/archive/nace/keaq/

     Sure everyone’s been to the Lincoln Memorial, but how many of you have been to the red headed step child of the National Park Service?  This beautiful park is tucked away in a rather unfortunate location.  But right off of 295 in the heart of Anacostia is one of the most interesting places you’ve never been to.  The land used to belong to a wealthy family who decided that instead of a traditional garden, they would grow a water garden.  (Ok, so a wealthy eccentric family.  Think the Kennedys, but more inebriated)  So they collected aquatic plants from around the world and placed them in small ponds scattered throughout a series of trails. 

    Eventually this became the nation’s only national park devoted to water plants.  (Hard to believe there’s only one huh?)  There is a ton of wildlife here.  The kids will find an endless amount of frogs, turtles, and birds scurrying about.  They will also be amazed by the five foot wide lilypads and beautiful blooms that one rarely finds in the Safeway flower department. 

    There is also a large boardwalk that goes out over the marsh giving you a great view of herons, hawks and other birds.  Standing at the end of the boardwalk it’s hard to believe that you’re minutes from the Nation’s capitol.  Since this is a National Park it’s free, but it is only open during rather odd hours, because all of the employees are scared of the neighborhood they work in, so be sure to check the website.


    National Air and Space Museum – Udvar Hazy Center          http://www.nasm.si.edu/udvarhazy/

     Ok, so this isn’t exactly a secret, but I suspect a lot of you haven’t made it all the way out to Virginia to visit this aeronautical mecca and if you haven’t, boy are you missing something.  Most people have been to the air and space museum down on the mall, but as big as it is, it’s a pretty small space if you are trying to display airplanes.  So a few years back the Smithsonian opened the Udvar Hazy center out near Dulles Airport.  It is a massive hangar filled with hundreds of planes.  There is a concorde, a blackbird spy plane, the Enola Gay, and a number of other private, commercial and military planes.  The museum runs the gamut from fighter jets, to a backpack strap-on helicopter, which, let’s be honest, is just totally awesome.
     
    The museum is all just one massive space, so there’s lots of room for the kids to run around and really cool hanging walkways that allow you to get on eye level with the planes that are suspended from the ceiling.  In addition there is a new space wing that includes a number of rockets and spacecraft as well as the Space Shuttle.  Is there any doubt your kids would love this place?  Or your husband?  Or your aunt that everyone winks and nods about?

    The other thing that makes this museum such a treat is that there is an air traffic control tower that they have built for kids to explore.  Because of the museum’s proximity to Dulles airport, you are able to watch planes fly in at eye level and follow their progress from a dot on the horizon to landing on the runway.  The museum is free, but they gouge you $12 to park, so pack as many people in to the van as possible and get your money’s worth.  (stupid cheap government)


    Biking the Monuments

     This is one of my favorite things to do in DC.  It seems obvious, but it doesn’t seem to occur to people all the time.  And just because I decided to personally pull three children behind me doesn’t mean that you have to.

    DC is remarkable in that it has sidewalks connecting all of the monuments and you are allowed to ride your bikes on the sidewalks as long as you are on National Park Service property, which all the monuments are.  (Thank you DOI)

    If you’ve ever been standing at the Lincoln Memorial and thought, “hey, let’s walk to the capitol,” you know what a ridiculously bad idea this is.  The two buildings look close, but they are actually 147 miles from one another.  You could walk, but you could also die.

    The beauty of taking bikes is that you can see all of the monuments in an afternoon as you ride across walkways through some of the prettiest architecture in the country.  All of the monuments have plenty of bike racks available for parking while you explore and there are always ice cream and hot dog vendors available for a snack.  If you get adventurous there are trails all the way up past the Kennedy center, along the Georgetown canals and up through Rock Creek Park to the National Zoo.  Or you can even ride across one of the bridges and explore Roosevelt Island and Arlington cemetery in Virginia.  (nothing says family fun day like a bike ride through a cemetery!)

    If you don’t have a bike or a trailer, Bike the Sites is located downtown in the Old Post Office building and rents bikes, trailers and tag along bikes so you can construct your own frankenbike http://www.bikethesites.com/.  If you bring your own bikes, there is always plenty of parking behind the FDR memorial on the opposite side of the tidal basin.  So pull on those elastic bike shorts and start pedaling.  Actually, please, please, don’t pull on those elastic bike shorts.  I don’t care what your spouse told you.  You don’t look good in them.


    Clemyjontri Park  http://www.clemypark.com/

    I am a man prone to hyperbole.  I’m sure I must exaggerate over 1,000 times a day!   But please believe me when I say that I have found the greatest playground on the face of the planet and it’s only 45 minutes away. (as long as you live exactly where I do, otherwise it is either closer or much much much farther.

    Fairfax county took some donated land and a lot of donated money and have built the largest, coolest playground I have ever seen.  They started with several acres of foam padding for the ground and then covered it with everything a child could dream of.  My father said it looked like they took the playground equipment catalog and said, “We’ll take one of everything.” 

    There are several large play structures for climbing, sliding, swinging, crawling and jumping.  There are also play structures shaped like a fire truck, a house, a helicopter and a boat.  There is a maze and a carousel and enough things that bounce, wiggle and shake to keep your kid happy for hours.  You literally can’t do everything in one visit.  And the best part is that it is all handicapped accessible.  This means lots of ramps which are great for toddlers and kids still working on their climbing skills.  There is no admission although parking can fill up quickly on weekends (there is an overflow lot a short walk away.)  This may be the only playground worth planning a day trip around, but it absolutely is.


    So there you are, 4 fabulous ideas to make you the coolest parent on the block and to give you an experience that is guaranteed to keep you from feeling like you blew one more Saturday at the grocery store and home depot.

    So, print off the driving directions now, slip them in your glove box and lay in wait for that next magical winter day.  When it comes, you’ll be ready.

    And if not, well, it’s really not my fault.

  • A Special Q&A from the Better off Dad Mailbag!

     
    As you might imagine, each week we get thousands and thousands of letters here at Better off Dad.  That’s just part of the job when you’re an online celebrity, (or ce-web-rity as I like to say).  Normally, I take the time to painstakingly reply to each and every email with a personalized note and a well reasoned response to their question, but lately the onslaught of messages has been too much.  Many of the questions I receive are repeated over and over again by various letters and emails.  I mean, there are only so many times you can stand to answer the question of “Are you single and, if so, are you into heavily made up, indigenous Albanians.”

    (FYI:  no and, not really, but feel free to send a picture)

    So I have taken the unusual step of choosing to answer 10 of the most common questions I receive here, so that all may benefit from my answers and I can hopefully clear off my desk from the clutter of thousands of emails and letters asking me for my opinions on television programming.  So here goes:

    Question #1:

    Dear Better off Dad,
    I have been reading your column for a while and have always enjoyed the many pictures of your children.  But I wanted to know.  Do you have a favorite? 
    - Preferential in Patuxent

    Answer:

    Dear Preferential,
    Normally this is a dangerous question to answer.  But, the truth is that only one of my kids can read.  So I’ll just say her, since the others will never know.  So…..Audra is my favorite.  Daddy loves you sweetie! 
      - Better off Dad


    Question #2:

    Dear Better off Dad,
    As a long time watcher of “The Office” on NBC, I feel like this season has been a little lackluster.  What do you think?  Is “Jam” in a jam?
      - Depressed about Dunder Mifflin

    Answer:

    Dear Depressed,
    I couldn’t agree with you more.  This year has been really….dull.  I loved the beginning of the season when Holly was a part of the cast, but it’s really gone down hill since then.  My theory is that Tina Fey snuck into the Office writer’s room one night and kidnapped all the funny people and has them locked in small cages with nothing but a bucket and a box of Kashi cereal.  She gives them a pack of ho-hos and a V-8 Spicy whenever they write a funny joke for 30 Rock.  Now, this is just a theory, but I think it explains a lot.
      - Better off Dad

     

    Question #3

    Dear Better off Dad,
    I can hear your youngest son screaming as I write this.  Is everything alright?
      -Concerned in Crofton

    Answer:

    Dear Concerned,
    Yes, everything’s fine.  It’s just that he wanted to eat breakfast out of the half gallon jar of mayonnaise that is still sitting on the counter from last night’s shopping trip.  When I told him “no” and put the mayonnaise in the pantry, clearly the only response was to roll around wailing inconsolably.  I did tell him that if he was very good I would give him 5 minutes alone with the Hellman’s later this afternoon (It just didn’t seem appropriate at 7:15 am)
      - Better off Dad


    Question #4:

    Dear Better off Dad,
    How come you don’t ever give away prizes like they do on the radio and on Wheel of Fortune?
    - Wanting to win in Wilmington

    Answer:

    Dear Wanting,
    Actually I do give away prizes.  In fact I am giving a Wii to the 500th person who sends me a letter this week (sorry, you’re number 498 )
      - Better off Dad


    Question #5:

    Dear Better off Dad,
    At the end of Superman 1, Superman flies backward around the earth at super speed and reverses time in order to save Lois Lane’s life and defeat Lex Luthor.  Why didn’t he simply use this same technique when he was trying to defeat Nuclear Man in Superman IV the Quest for Peace. 
      -Confused in Columbus

    Answer:

    Dear Confused,
    Boy, I get this question ALL the time.  But the answer is actually quite simple.  It is well known that Superman is allergic to Kryptonite, but he is also highly allergic to Dramamine.  He did not know this in Superman 1, so he took the Dramamine before flying quickly around the earth to keep him from getting motion sickness.  But he then gets very ill from his Dramamine allergy and has to spend 3 months at the Mayo clinic with symptoms ranging from a mild rash to ED.  This scene is only in the hard to find unrated, director’s cut, but I believe it answers your question.  Thanks for writing!
      - Better off Dad


    Question #6:

    Dear Better off Dad,
    You pansy stay at home Dads are what is wrong with America!  When a man won’t stand up and go earn money for his family it forces women and men into unnatural gender roles that are destroying America faster than gay marriage, abortion and that Gossip Girl show combined!  You are an abomination!  I can’t wait till you’re left behind.!
    - Apoplectic in Atlanta

    Answer:

    Dear Apoplectic,
    I’m so sorry to hear that you feel that way.  I know I have taken a different path than most men in today’s society, but I feel that it is the right one for me and my family
      - Better off Dad
    P.S.  Congratulations!  You’re my 500th letter writer.  You just won a Wii!


    Question #7:

    Dear Better off Dad,
    As a famous blogger, you must have women after you all the time.  How do you maintain the sanctity of your marriage and resist the temptation that exists from such an adoring fan base?
    - Curious in Cansas

    Answer:
     
    Dear Curious,
    You may be surprised to hear that this is not as big a problem as you might think.  Because I am a blogger, I don’t have my face seen as often as poor Anderson Cooper who often writes to tell me about the problems of women constantly hounding him for dates and not believing him when he tells them that they “just aren’t his type.”  But every once in a while I do get noticed.  For instance, last week, I was at a coffee shop drinking a mug of coffee and as I lifted the coffee half way to my face, a lady across the room screamed: “Oh my gosh you’re him!  You’re Better off Dad!  Please have my children and unleash on me the sweet passionate caresses that I know your cynical witticisms are concealing!”  But I just told her that she had it all wrong, that I was really a stock broker and then she spat in my coffee and left in a huff.  Whoo boy!  That was a close one!
      - Better off Dad


    Question #8:

    Dear Better off Dad,
    I’ve been reading your blog and I’ve noticed that the day after you wrote about how you had been struggling with your faith, you’re dog died.  Has this caused you to lose your faith entirely?
    - Praying in Pasadena

    Answer:

    Dear Praying,
    No, don’t worry, I haven’t lost my faith.  Although it isn’t where I thought I left it.  (Maybe one of the kids took it and hid it wherever they put my other brown dress shoe)
    - Better off Dad


    Question #9:

    Dear Better off Dad,
    Is it just me, or does your obsession with Tina Turner seem dated and unnatural?
    - Public Dancing in Pittsburgh

    Answer:

    Dear Public,
    No, it’s just you…… and my wife.
    - Better off Dad

    Question #10:

    Dear Better off Dad,
    I noticed that you missed two days of your blog this week.  Is it because you are a lazy no good worthless stay at home dad, who not only isn’t even enough of a man to go out and get a job but can’t even manage to write a couple of lousy pages every day?  You are by far the greatest loser ever to slither in pathetic shame across the landscape of this great country.
    - Apoplectic in Atlanta
    P.S.  The Wii is awesome.  Thanks.

    Answer:

    Dear Apoplectic,
    So glad you’re enjoying the Wii!  Actually I have missed a couple of days.  Monday I didn’t post, because we didn’t have any power and I spent 8 hours walking aimlessly around the mall because they had both heat and working toilets there (two of my favorite things!).  And then I didn’t post yesterday because Aloysius was on the computer all morning finishing up work for a class that ended at midnight.  I am so sorry to disappoint you and I will try to be better about the whole electricity  / teenager thing in the future.  Thanks for reading!
    - Better off Dad

     

    Well, that’s it folks!  Answers to some of the most pressing questions of the day.

    Keep those letters coming! 

     

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